My son Sean was stillborn at 39 weeks on the 21st October 1993, cause unknown. It is weird really because when i got pregnant with him i was actually on the mini pill and breast feeding, the doctors all thought it amazing that i concieved. Well i figured he must have been meant to be. How wrong i was, so very wrong. I always felt tired with this pregnancy, and near the end i got terrible pains under my left ribs, pain so bad that i would be doubled over, these started about two weeks before Sean died and carried on til the end. The doctor's told me i had pulled a muscle and not to worry !!

At a routine appointment with my midwife she discovered that the baby had turned and then she could not pick up a heart beat, i was taken to hospital and scanned, and there it was confirmed that my baby had died. The following mornming i was induced and 2 days later i gave birth to my beautiful baby boy, he was breech, bottom first. At first i refused to hold him, i was too scared. The midwife took him and cleaned him and got him dressed. Then she came into the room with him and gently gently eased him into my arms. I remember thinking how beautiful and perfect he was, and how could i have been afraid to have held my own baby boy. I held him for 3 hours until he felt so cold, i remember wrapping him tight in his blanket hoping to keep him warm, but he just got colder. That broke my heart, because as a Mum i wanted to keep him warm.....God it hurts to write all of this ......

The next day i was told he had to have a post mortem, that i had no choice, and that if i refused they would go over my head, so i signed and they carried one out. Sean was buried 6 days after he was born, in our town, the town he would have grown up, lived, gone to school.... They never did find out from the post mortem why he died.

Well years passed and just when i felt that maybe i was going to be o.k we discovered that the hospital had removed and kept Sean's organs and other body parts, not for research, just for collection !! This was now 2001.This happened to over a 1000 other parents and probably many more, we had to have Sean's grave reopenbed again and another caskert lowered into his grave, this totally destroyed me and my family. We all fell to pieces , but i had to do this for my baby, i could not leave parts of him in the hospital collection, i wanted him at peace.

We went through a long Court case which took over 4 years to settle ! It only finished at Christmas.

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