I've lost three little angels all in the second trimester due to an incompetent cervix/uterine problems. My first pregnancy was confirmed May 7, 2003. I was Due December 31, 2003. I thought what away to bring in the new year with our first child. Everything went well with my appointments. We heard the heartbeat at 13 weeks. Little did I know that would be my last OB appointment.

About 3 weeks later my water broke, I was admitted to the hospital and placed on antibiotics to see if my membranes would reseal. I was there for 4 days, released to come home and be on bed rest. Later that night I went into labor and was taken back to the hospital. About an half hour later my son Sean Jr. was born on July 21, 2003 He was perfect in every way. I was told that I just had a late miscarriage and the chances of this happening again were slim.

We tried again in 6 months. I found out January 2, 2004 that I was pregnant once again. This time I was going to be watched more carefully. I did have some bleeding early on and had a ultrasound that showed nothing but an empty sac. I wasn't worried because I knew everything was going to be ok, I was right because two weeks later there was a baby and a little heartbeat.I was checked every two weeks to keep an eye on my cervix. I had ultrasound's done at 7weeks, 14weeks, and 18 weeks.

I was terrified the whole time, I did have a lot of ligament pains. I noticed some pink blood one morning and I went into to be checked. While there I found out my membranes were bulging. I was taken by ambulance to a level 3 nursery hospital.
I was placed on my head on full bedrest and given mag sulfate. We were hoping that my membranes would slide back in so I could get a cerclage. I had daily ultrasounds, everything was fine until Friday June 4. I went into full blown labor which couldn't be stopped. I don't remember too much because I was given something that knocked me out. I do remember having my daughter and everything that happened afterward. My family came to see our baby girl. We named her Jessica Angela she was born at 22 weeks. Again she was a perfect little baby.

I was told after losing Jessica that I had an incompetent cervix and I would need a cerclage placed in order to carry a pregnancy.

We were allowed to try again in 3 months. I found out I was pregnant October 27, 2004. Everything went well, I had my cerclage placed at 12 weeks December 22, 2004. I knew I would be on full bedrest only able to get up to use the bathroom. I stayed in bed and hoped that everything would work this time. A week after the surgery, I was laying in bed and felt a gush, I noticed it was blood, we rushed to the hospital, I was checked and checked again, I had an ultrasound no more blood was found. I was given a shot of Rhogam and told to go home and rest. I went back the next day and was admitted over night. The bleeding stopped, I was checked weekly since I still had brown blood. I made it to 16.5 weeks and I knew something was wrong, I just had a feeling that something wasn't right.

My water broke early January 15, 2005. I went back to the hospital and had an ultrasound to confirm what I already knew, my baby wasn't going to make it. My cerclages were removed and I had my son Issac Edward. He was perfect and looked just like his older brother Sean Jr.

After 3 losses I went to see a different high risk pregnancy specialist. They were not sure that it was just my cervix causing problems. So I had a ton of blood work done. It all came back normal. I had an HSG ( special ultrasound done on the uterus)The ultrasound showed that my uterus is shaped like a T when it should be pear shaped. The good thing is that it can be fixed. That's the next step I'm going to take.

I'm just so thankful for the time I got to spend with each of my children. I cherish those moments and I always will. I have 3 little boxes with all their little hats, footprints and other items. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of them.

I have been asked countless times, How did I cope? I can tell you My belief in God has gotten me through this. With out Him, I would have been lost. My relationship with My husband Sean has gotten so much stronger. We will not give up until we got to have a live child.

I joined HA after Losing Jessica in 2004. I found so much support here. I decided to volunteer doing everything that I do makes me feel good because I do it all in my babies memory. I know they are so proud of me and everything that I do. And I feel that I can give back what so many others have given to me.

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